An official-looking website of the Bureau of Vibe Compliance. Here's how you know: you don't.
Commonwealth of Good VibesBureau of Vibe Compliance
Home › Compliance › National Vibe Assessment 2026
Action required: Citizen, our records show your 2026 National Vibe Assessment is overdue.

National Vibe Assessment 2026

Under the Vibes and Social Cohesion Act 2019 (s. 4(b), "Don't Be Weird"), every resident must complete an annual Vibe Assessment. Failure to comply may result in penalties, including but not limited to a Vibe Officer turning up at your next barbecue and standing near you in silence.

Assessment subjectCitizen
Reference no.VIBE-0000-000
StatusOVERDUE (412 days)
Reported byAn anonymous mate (they know what they did)

The assessment takes about 60 seconds. Please answer honestly. We will know if you don't.

By continuing you agree to have your vibe assessed by a panel of three seagulls and a guy named Craig.

Part A: Self-declaration

Question responses are legally binding. Choose carefully, Citizen.

1. The group chat has gone quiet for 3 hours. You:
2. How many times have you said "we should catch up soon" and not caught up?
3. At a barbecue, you are most likely to be found:
4. Pineapple on pizza?

Analysing vibe… please do not close this window

Closing this window will be treated as an admission of bad vibes.

Assessment complete. A result has been recorded against your name. This cannot be undone.
FAILED
Certificate of Vibe Assessment

This certifies that

Citizen
has been assessed and found to have a vibe of
RANCID
Overall vibe score: 3 / 100 (national average: 64)
Banter 2/10
Group chat etiquette 1/10
Barbecue conduct 4/10
Aura −7/10
Dance moves Not detected
Rizz Error 404
Chat energy Seen, no reply
Fashion Crocs (sport mode)

A Vibe Officer has been dispatched to Citizen's location.
Estimated arrival: whenever you least expect it. They will be wearing thongs.

Issued by the Bureau of Vibe Compliance · Ref · Not valid in Queensland, where the vibes are already questionable

Pay my vibe fine

Vibe Appeal Tribunal

You may appeal your result. Appeals are reviewed by the same three seagulls. In the box below, explain in your own words why your vibe should be reconsidered.

Hint: the Tribunal is not interested in excuses.

Appeal received

Thank you, Citizen. Your apology has been accepted.

Your vibe has been upgraded from RANCID to MID.

The Vibe Officer has been recalled but asked us to tell you he's "a bit disappointed".

Report a mate for assessment

Know someone whose vibe needs checking? Enter their first name and we'll generate their personal assessment notice.