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Register of Vibe Offences
Schedule 1 of the Vibes and Social Cohesion Act 2019. Penalties apply nationally except in Tasmania, where nobody's checking.
Citizen, our records show you've committed at least 7 of the offences below. We've highlighted a few for you. You're welcome.
| Code | Offence | Class | Fine | Demerit points |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1.01 | Replying "haha" without actually laughing | Minor | $50 | 3 |
| 1.02 | Sending a voice memo over 2 minutes long | Minor | $75 | 3 |
| 1.03 | Saying "we should catch up soon" with no intention of catching up | Minor | $80 | 4 |
| 1.04 | Leaving a group chat dramatically instead of just muting it | Moderate | $150 | 6 |
| 2.01 | Posting your gym check-in like anyone asked | Moderate | $120 | 5 |
| 2.02 | Explaining crypto at a barbecue | Serious | $400 | 10 |
| 2.03 | Clapping when the plane lands | Moderate | $200 | 6 |
| 2.04 | Using "literally" when it was figuratively | Minor | $40 | 2 |
| 2.05 | Being "brutally honest" but mostly just brutal | Serious | $350 | 9 |
| 3.01 | Wearing sunglasses indoors (not a celebrity) | Moderate | $180 | 6 |
| 3.02 | Saying "I'm just a very passionate person" after yelling | Serious | $300 | 8 |
| 3.03 | Taking 47 selfies to post one "candid" photo | Moderate | $150 | 5 |
| 3.04 | Telling people your star sign before your name | Minor | $90 | 4 |
| 4.01 | Showing up to a BYO with nothing and drinking everyone else's | Aggravated | $600 | 12 |
| 4.02 | Bringing a garden salad to a sausage sizzle | Aggravated | $500 | 12 |
| 4.03 | Being the reason the group chat has a second, secret group chat | Aggravated | $999 | 15 |
| 4.04 | Posting "blessed" under a photo of a new car on finance | Serious | $420 | 9 |
| 5.01 | Saying "no offence" and then being extremely offensive | Serious | $380 | 10 |
| 5.02 | Having a podcast (unsolicited) | Aggravated | $750 | 14 |
| 5.03 | Replying "k" | Aggravated | $1,000 | 20 |
Accumulating 30 demerit points results in suspension of your aux cord privileges for 12 months. Accumulating 50 means you have to sit at the kids' table at Christmas.